Thursday, April 3, 2008

You say

Although we're not even starting to try to conceive (TTC for future reference), I'm worrying a little bit about what people will think. Most especially Paul's brother and sister in law, and a few members of our families. Why? Well, no matter what we do, we're always considered "the kids" with Paul's brother. We managed to save up thousands for the wedding, but they still won't let us pay for anything. We're treated differently from Paul's sister, perhaps because she's older with two kids, perhaps just because she's her, I dunno. I worry that should we become pregnant, BIL would think it was a stupid thing to do- what with us living in a 1 bedroom apartment and all. Paul's sister lives in a house, but it's rented. Should it make a difference? Apparently it does. This makes me sad. Sure we're not college graduates... SIL is a college grad, yet she still lets the kids sleep in her bed every night (a 4 year old and a 7 year old). I don't think degrees should count for much. I acknowledge it can help you earn more money and get a better job, but come on.

We're both close to 30 now, and I feel I would be a good mother. We're not lacking for anything, we aren't missing much, so our child would spend a few years in a one bedroom apartment, is that really so terrible? While I know many would be happy for us if babies should happen, I think more about the ones who will question us, "Did you plan this?" or, "Are you sure this is a good idea?" I'm not just sitting here thinking it could be great to have a baby to play with. No, we're thinking of which schools our children could go to. We're thinking about daycare and things like that. Granted, we won't be as well off as Paul's brother. I accept that. Our kids won't have the newest toys out, and Buggaboo strollers. I wasn't brought up rich, I never had the newest thing, but I didn't lack in anything. Our kids will have insurance, much love, and happy parents. They'll have strollers that work, beds that are comfortable, and a roof over their heads. Kids have had worse.

Still, what do I say to those family members who question our choice to have children?


Kj said...

You tell them it's none of their gd business. But I'm willing to bet everyone will be thrilled with the news when you announce a bun is in the oven.

A child needs loving, respectful and nurturing parents. Doesn't matter where they live, how educated they are or how much money they have. And I know you will be awesome. You both will.

fatafelice said...

I think KJ said it perfectly. It's not as if you two are having a child on a whim. You've thought about it and you will be prepared. You are adults, not matter how his family members may see you.