I wish I may

I'm starting to feel the twinges of "I wish I had..." to do with the wedding. It's actually very distressing, as I really had thought it was exactly what I wanted (minus the hatred for my dress, and the pretty shitty DJ), and what we had planned. If you ask my darling husband, he'd tell you it was perfect- wouldn't change a thing. You really must love him for that. All he'd wanted was his wife, his friends and family, and a good time. When thought of that way, what else could I ask for?

Perhaps it's a woman thing, having to dress up all aspects of ourselves to keep ourselves happy. Dress up the venue for the wedding, or dress up our house to look nice, get nice shoes that make us feel good. Now that I sit here wondering what else could have made me happier, it's just small things, like a different DJ, or a few different decorations, favors that weren't the same as my sister-in-law's wedding. I think it's a good sign that all the things I'd do differently are just dressings. I'd not want a different groom, or a different ceremony. I would probably invite less people, but that's only because we had that one big wedding, and wouldn't miss it if we had a hundred less people. Of course there would be people I would want to be there with us, like my brother and sister in law, and the new baby, and people from before who couldn't make it would be with us. Still, as long as the marriage license was signed and we were official, there really wouldn't have been anything I'd want to change.

As I sit here watching my beautiful husband sleep on the couch beside me (he'd hate me to call him beautiful, but whatever, it's MY blog), I feel blessed to have him, this larger than life character. When you have someone like that in your life, are lucky enough to have him after losing him before, you really can't ask for much, can you?