Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I can write pretty

Sometimes I wish I could just sit down and write a book. Not like, "Wow, I've written so much in this comment to you, it's like a book!". More like, "Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Amber..." Of course, my book wouldn't start with "Once upon a time", since people don't write like that unless they're being ironic.

Of course, had I a choice about the kinds of things to write about, I'd probably choose my childhood, and my teenagerhood. Is that even a word? To be authorish, I suppose I should learn the difference between actual words and invented ones, since I know people like me would most likely go through the library versions of my books and underline misspellings and typos. Yes, I do that. And yes, I realize it's a problem.

Perhaps I should wax poetic on my Dad's various forms of embarrassment, calling me "Amberella", and wearing MC Hammer pants to my birthday party. With no shirt. Talking about the various hookers on Hollywood Blvd., with my girl scout troop in the backseat, in transit to see "Aladdin" at the El Capitan Theater. I love my dad so much, though, that I wouldn't want to write anything that may make people think badly of him. I'm very protective of this man, ya know?

I'm thinking my downfall to literary triumph would be two-fold. My inability to take anything as constructive criticism, and my adoration for everyone I would write about. Well, make that three-fold... I tend to hate in such a consuming manner. Hey, I'm a Scorpio, I do everything passionately, including keeping grudges and sending daggers of death from my piercing brown eyes. Ha, I'm so modest.

Am I alone in thinking I should re-think this whole "writing a novel" thing? My dream is to become the female David Sedaris, hmmm... I think that position has already been filled by his sister Amy, although I doubt that's allowed. Nepotism at its finest. :)

If I should miraculously contain each thought and use it to its potential (and learn when to use its versus it's), would you read me?

2 comments:

fatafelice said...

"Of course, my book wouldn't start with 'Once upon a time', since people don't write like that unless they're being ironic." -- Or unless they are in seventh grade and don't listen to their teacher (grrrrrrr).

I know how you feel, however. I think the fatal flaw in my future literary career is my inability to effectively manage my time (ex: blogging instead of grading papers), and my exemplary ability to procrastinate (ex: have had said papers for over two weeks). (Plus, I use way too many parentheses.) *Sigh* No Pulizer for me.

If it makes you feel better, though, I would totally read your book! :)

Kj said...

I'd read you. Wait, I arleady do. I'd say, go for it. You've got the style. You've got the "it" thing going for you. Other than blogging, have you published any short articles yet?