Friends. All of us have them.

Recently I've read a book by those two chicks who wrote "The Nanny Diaries" (I'm so eloquent, aren't I?) called "Dedication". It's about a woman named Kate, her high school love turned Rock Star, and her best friend Laura. The basic plot is about how Kate wrestles with the pain of a high school love story gone awry, her boyfriend leaves her the day of Senior Prom, and heads out to LA to find fame and fortune. Unfortunately for her, he makes it big using songs about her and their relationship, all the while never getting in touch with her. Her life plays on the radio, such huge moments as losing her virginity, her unfaithful parents, all the things you wish to keep private... yet he makes money off her memories.

This isn't a book review (seriously, everyone should read this book, I can't recommend it enough!), because this book made me think of my friendships, past, present and hopefully future. This book transitions between her adolescence and her adulthood, with the constant companionship of Laura. I'm sad to say that I have no real great woman friends around me. Growing up, I was content to hang with the boys and my family. I never knew it wasn't normal to have your cousin be your best friend. As I got older and started (and finished) high school, I had a lot of girl friends, some of which I was too good for and vice versa. I cut off friendships and begged others for another chance. Then I met Paul. I surrounded myself with him and his life, and made it my own. Sadly, when I look for someone to hang out with, or go to the LA Zoo with or something, I call my dad. Hey, I love my dad and we always have a great time together, but it would be nice to have a fellow wife, future mother or something to hang out with and commiserate with.

Luckly, I have my two OBFFs, Laura and Tricia. If they didn't live in New York and Chicago respectively, I'm sure they'd be real life friends (instead of Random Online Friend, like Laura refers to me as- THANKS. :) ). In fact, when I have bad news, or great news, I often turn to them. Tricia will always call me when I have a bad day, and we cheer ourselves up by talking about disgusting food items and the mouse in my kitchen (his name is Mouser, and I hope to God he's dead). Our husbands would get along so well if they would get a chance to hang out. Perhaps this makes them real friends. I hope it does.

Hopefully this post isn't insulting my OBFFs, since in my mind, I DO consider you friends. Even though I met Tricia through Wedding Bee when I was Miss Kiwi, she knows so much about me already, and I her. When I met Laura through Pricescope, we realized we had a lot in common, and a strange online friendship was made. Of these two women, we've shared our wedding photos, our lives and our fears. Just because a few thousand miles separate us, it doesn't mean it's not a real friendship. At least that's what I tell my friendless ass.

One Small Step (back) for Birth Control, One Large Step for Us

Last night Paul and I decided to go off the pill after I finish this last pack. The conversation went like this (picture me in the kitchen {sadly, three steps away from the living room} and Paul on the couch, playing God of War II on PS2), Me: "So, I think I'm going to go off birth control after this pack is done." Wait for panic attack, stroke, or swallowing of tongue. Nothing. Paul: "Sounds good." What? Like, for real, sounds good? Me: "Are you sure? It's okay?" Paul: "Yeah, it's okay. Did you just see that move I did? I love this game (of course, he did just buy that game an hour earlier, so you can understand his glee)!" And that, my friends, is the moment we decided birth control has no place in our marriage. Quite the momentous occasion.

Of course, the next morning I got online to chat with my OBFF (online best friend forever, of whom I have two- a future post about THAT to follow this one) and she shared my joy in this big step called "Getting Knocked Up". Even if my poor husband couldn't really express himself as well as OBFF did, I know he understands what this means- no more naked days. Gasp!

Why me?

I'm not quite sure why I haven't blogged lately, it just seems like so much has been going on. Of course, when I think about listing it all, nothing comes to mind. Isn't that always how it is? There wasn't anything bad going on, just busy life things. Today though, I'm tired and cranky- and there is nothing I can do about it.

Last night, despite being achingly tired, I was unable to sleep. Scrabble words kept running through my head, as I stayed there, gradually heating up on our pillowtop mattress. The heat wasn't it, though. At 2:45am I felt intense pain in my stomach. Had it not happened the night before (that time at 3:58am), I would have assumed the Italian food we had for dinner was bad. Unfortunately for me, the pain was the exact same as the night before. Last night I got up to use the restroom, and when I came back to bed, I couldn't help but hear my upstairs neighbor (remember her?) having quite vigorous sex with the new (younger, ooh la la) man in her life. Whatever. Her sex life is her sex life, and I'd really like to stay as far removed from it as possible. UNTIL IT DISTURBS MY ABILITY TO SLEEP. The more noise she makes the more I dislike her. It's really terrible, as we had been very friendly (not as friendly as she is with New Guy) in the past, although now I want to start banging on the ceiling with a broom handle ala Mr. Heckles on Friends.

It's not just her inability to stop dropping heavy crap on the floor, nor is it his inability to stop moaning and laughing (?)... It's the fact that I'm slowly becoming a terrible insomniac. Seriously, I'm starting to feel like the Machinist, minus the drastic and disturbing weight loss. I don't like to be dependent on medication to fall asleep, I'm already dependent enough on various meds for asthma, allergies, and all the other problems that ail me. I'm trying to wean myself from the nightly Tylenol pm (justification: I've only taken one per night), and fall asleep like a normal human being. So, with my recent frustrations with my inability to fall asleep, I also have to deal with the rudest neighbor alive.

I would like to leave her a note reading: "Hey Susan, I just wanted to ask if you could please try to keep it down from about 11:30 to 6am, as Paul and I both wake up at 6am to go to work, and it gets a little loud." In reality I want to say, "Listen, even though you don't work because you're on "disability", it doesn't mean everyone else has to stay awake because you are apparently unaware of normal human sleep habits.I'd appreciate it if you would stop doing whatever the hell it is you do at 4am, and let the good hardworking people SLEEP. And tell your boyfriend his dumbass purple (yes, readers, it is purple) car bothers me. And he's too young for you. And that I can HEAR HIM MOANING IN PLEASURE every night, and I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT." If only I was okay with people hating me.

"Have you lost weight?"

When you hear that phrase above, you feel flattered, when you're my size. You look down and think, "Well, my jeans DO fit better." Unless you hear it from a near stranger.

It's one thing to hear "Have you lost weight?" from a friend or family member who knows of your struggle with losing weight, it's a whole 'nother thing to hear it from a person who has only seen you maybe 5 times in the last 6 months. I don't know why it's a difference, maybe it's because in saying that, they're telling you they noticed how heavy you were before. To me, it's like saying, "I didn't want to say anything about how big you were before, but now that you've lost some of the heft, I can say something now". Like they're automatically assuming you were trying to lose weight.

As a fairly recent fat girl, I had never been exposed to the hidden world of weight loss and gain. Sure, I wasn't a skinny Minnie, but I had never heard the words, "You've gained weight" or "You've lost weight!" before. Now that I am hearing it, I don't like how it makes me feel. Like I said before, comments from family and friends are fine, they've seen me at my lighter days and my now heavy days- to hear things from them is different (also, they are usually kinder with their comments, unlike random strangers).

Honestly, while it is great to hear that you look like you've lost weight, it's still quite a shock to realize other people have noticed your weight gain. Yes, I am aware it's pretty obvious when your jeans now have stretch marks, but hey, let me grieve in peace.

The Verdict is IN!

Finally, the test results have come in. I am fine. Not a problem. No diabetes, or thyroid problems! The bad news is: I'm just plain fat. :D Since there is no chemical problem, I will have to get down to the real problem: my huskiness is caused by an overdose of goodness doctors refer to as cupcakes.

I must stop eating the things that taste good to me, and eat more of the things that ARE good FOR me.

At least it's good to know what was ailing me: too much crap!

Amber's Ring is... done!

The pictures of my ring are in! Keep in mind my stone is an "F" color, and the pic in the top left is NOT what it looks like in real life. It's usually very vibrant.

Without further ado, my RIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!

Apostrophe Abuse

I heard about this great website for anal readers and editors. (I wonder if this post would pop up on search engines due to the word "anal") It's Apostrophe Abuse! I love it! This place gives hope to people like me who cringe every time they see an apostrophe where there shouldn't be one. Like 1980s. There should not be an apostrophe there, like this: 1980's. It's so common. 1980 isn't claiming anything, is it? Didn't think so.

Anyway, enjoy the site, my anal readers.